Wednesday, January 26, 2011


   At nearly 26 years old I have unfortunately been around my fair share of death. I have lost friends, acquaintances, and even family. Nothing hit as close to home as the loss of my mom. The only thing comparable, in my mind, would be the loss of a spouse or child. After losing my mom, numerous people would ask "How are you holding up?" or "Is there anything I can do?" While those people meant well, when you think about it, those questions are quite ridiculous. There is absolutely nothing that can fill the void of losing someone so close. I have also been asked, "How do you handle it so well?" The truth is I don't really know. I just remember sitting there as the pastor delivered the eulogy and an overwhelming sense of calm came over me. To me it was the hand of God.
   The entire time at the hospital I prayed continuously for a recovery that never came, and while some people would blame God, for me it is easier to believe this is all for a reason. It has strengthened my relationship with my dad, whom I would rarely call back then and instead would go through my mom to see how he was. And it has brought people into my life I otherwise would have never met. It made me lean on God, friends, and family. To all of whom I am now closer.
   The biggest thing to remember is life goes on. And we will never know why it happened the way it did until we rejoin our loved ones. But through it all we have to remember that we should never ask "Why did God let this happen?" Because, in my opinion, He didn't. When Adam and Eve first bit into the forbidden fruit we were separated from God and sin was born. We, as humans, became sinful in nature and evil and death was the result. Death was created by us as a result of our sin, and as sinful creatures we are left to exercise our own free will. So God does not allow bad things to happen, He simply has to let us, as his children, learn from or mistakes like any good parent would. But of all the bad that can happen in the world, death is the best thing that could happen. Our loved one will no longer suffer, will no longer have to listen to all of the bad things happening in the world, will no longer hunger, will no longer thirst. We who are left behind should envy the loved ones who have gone before us, for they are truly the blessed.
   And lastly, if it weren't for loss how would we know what someone really meant to us. I don't think you can truly experience the full spectrum of love without loss. Loss is unfortunately, a necessary evil we as sinners must face. All we can do is wake up in the morning and continue to trust the God knows best and wants only the best for us all.


  1. well said, my dear S I L....thanks for writing!

  2. I agree! Im probably not supposed to get 'mushy' on your blog, never cease to amaze me, sir! You handle lives 'curve-balls' with such grace and integrity. Im proud to be your bride!

  3. i really needed to read that today!!!! since everything happened several things you have said to me has helped me cope better with things and this helps even more today i think i will print this one off just to read when i need to...i love you

  4. you are such an amazing person, i'm so blessed to have you in my life and to claim you as my brother..

    i love you joshuuuu