First things first. I cannot believe I have not posted anything since March of this year. Holy crap how time flies. At this point I am no longer in law school, no longer in the state of Oklahoma, and finally holding down real job. Throughout the entire process, i.e. moving to Oklahoma, law school, getting an incredible job, and buying a house, I cannot help but laugh at how incredibly blessed Carie and I have been. And while it's funny to look at my life now and see how far I have come in a few short months, I have one underlying feeling through it all.....(un)worthy.
Now I am not saying this with a feeling of complete dumbfoundedness (word?) as to how I got to where I am. I definitely worked hard for all that I have. Instead, my since of unworthiness stems from my faith. I cannot help but realize how (un)worthy and undeserving I am. I, like everyone, am a sinner. Maybe more than some, but hopefully less than some. But the thing is, that doesn't matter. I am a sinner and therefore I am not worthy. Not worthy of the Kingdom and not worthy of everything I have been blessed with on Earth. But what is even more astounding, God thinks I am.
No matter how bad I screw something up, or how far I fall short of perfection, God continues to bless me beyond my wildest dreams. I am truly (un)worthy, but I have found that if you trust God, look to Him for guidance in your life, and pursue a relationship with Him everyday (which, again, I am most assuredly guilty of failing to do from time to time), God tends to remove the (un). Only through Him are any of us worthy.